seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
