I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
