the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
