You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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