you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
So. Much. Porn.
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