I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
