I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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