it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
