My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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