she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
