...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
