Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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