I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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