You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
