Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He has the fingertips of a God
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
