THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
