That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
