she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
