I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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