I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
