it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
