matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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