Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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