Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
