Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I think i got beer on your cat.
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