I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
