So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
