we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
COCAINE IS GR8
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
