You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I need a beard to bite.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
