Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
