I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
