maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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