I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
