I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
