sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my phone needs a breathalizer
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize