bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
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