I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
