I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
