everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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