Buhtt sex?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
