i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm too high and old for this...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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