Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
