If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
