Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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