remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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