Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
