Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
