i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
