If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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