its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
