Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
