worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
