Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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