And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
