hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
