census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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