I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
