I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
