His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
