is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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