I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
