JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
