I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize